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We typically overestimate the strength and the duration of our future emotional responses, both positive and negative. Stop overthinking dating tend to overestimate how unhappy they will be following a breakup. In one study, 69 college students who had been involved in a relationship for at least two months took part in a 9-month longitudinal study. If they were still with their partner, they were asked to rate how unhappy they would be if their relationship were to end within the next two weeks. If they had broken up, they were asked how unhappy they were about the breakup. On average, people predicted that they would be significantly less happy after breaking up than they actually were during those two weeks after the break-up happened.

This overestimation of our emotional reactions occurs for two reasons: We often underestimate how good we are at making sense of negative events and coping with them. People who reported being more in love with their partners, and people who thought their prospects for finding someone new were especially bad.

How To Stop Damaging Your Relationship When You’re An Over-thinker

Second, when Stop overthinking dating the potential impact of the break-up, think more broadly about your future, not ocerthinking about the specific effects of the end of the relationship. Read more articles by Dr. References 1 Wilson, T. Discovering the adaptive unconscious. Effects of analyzing reasons on attitude—behavior consistency. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 47, Its limits, value, and potential for Improvement. Annual Review of Psychology, 55, Knowing what to want.

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You only see the things that are a small part of something much bigger. When you mention the little things that trigger your over-thinking response, when you ask questions in regards to why your partner went out for pizza instead of going for the usual burger joint with their friends, when you ask why it took 35 minutes to respond to your text instead of the usual immediate response- you are focusing on the trivial instead of the important. Over-thinking leads to blame- one way or the other, you or them. Stop the blame cycle! Breathe and learn to trust. Trust yourself and others.

It really is the only way to move forward in your life. To stop the damage being done to your relationship, you must stop the over-thinking. How to stop over-thinking? Well, there is no answer that will work for everyone; I can only tell you what worked for me. Acceptance and letting go.